Broken
by SweetCrush
Summary: What happens when dreams and reality mix so well Giles can't tell the difference? Giles struggles with his attraction to Buffy and his fear of losing her again. Buffy/Giles. Rated M for safety. Enjoy!
1. Broken

**Chapter One - Broken**

Giles stood alone in his kitchen boiling water for his tea. It had been a long day for the Watcher. He had already changed into sleep pants and a plain white t-shirt. He only wanted to curl up on his couch with a good book and a cup of fresh brewed tea. The opportunity to enjoy such luxuries rarely came along for Rupert.

Things had been quiet in Sunnydale for nearly two weeks. No disappearances or unexplained phenomenon. Just your typical, easily remedied, dimwitted vamp or two trying to snag a bite to eat at the Bronze. Nothing the slayer couldn't handle.

_The Slayer. _Giles thought. Things had been so quiet that Buffy finally had a chance to focus on her life…the non-slayer parts…and she was doing just that. Or he assumed she was. And Giles was happy for her. She deserved some time for herself. She now had all the time in the world for classes, regular lunches and coffee with Willow, and Giles assumed she probably had managed to find time to go on a date or two. It had been a week since Buffy had stopped by, so in reality, Giles had no idea what she had been doing.

The teapot began to whistle as steam shot from its spout. Giles made his tea and went to the living room. He sat on the couch, removed his glasses, and absently rubbed the lenses with his t-shirt. He allowed his head to fall back against the sofa as he tried to relax. He rubbed his eyes, making a physical effort to clear his mind.

He began to wonder where Buffy was. Was she alright? He looked at his watch. 9:00 pm. She was probably out on patrol. Giles made a mental note to call her in the morning and check on her. He had tried not to need to speak to her, but a whole week was a long time for them to have had no contact with each other. He needed, if only to say hello, to hear her voice.

Giles silently wished that something would happen in Sunnydale. Nothing apocalypse-sized, but something that would bring Buffy back to him. He missed her, and frankly, he was bloody bored. His day had consisted of cataloguing his books, searching newspapers for any new occurrences, and resisting the urge to call Buffy. All in all, not too much accomplished, but the day had been straining nonetheless.

Giles opened his book. He sat there trying to read for nearly twenty minutes. When he couldn't read a complete page because his thoughts were elsewhere, he gave up on the book. He sipped his tea, which had since cooled to barely lukewarm.

His thoughts remained on Buffy. This had begun to happen more frequently when he was alone. He almost always thought about her.

"Bugger this," He said aloud to himself in complete frustration. "Buffy, get the bloody hell out of my head!" And his head fell backward once more resting on the back of the couch.

Why was it always like this? He knew she could take care of herself. He knew she didn't _need _him. He knew he was no longer responsible for her. And yet…when it came right down to it…

He missed her. _He_ needed _her_.

He placed his glasses on the end table next to the couch, and lied down. He closed his eyes, trying desperately to escape the thoughts of Buffy that were swirling through his head. God, he missed her.

_Giles felt her hand touch his cheek gently. He opened his eyes to see her gazing at him, smiling. Her hair flowing around her face, over her shoulders, made her look like a goddess to him. He overlapped her hand with his and turned his face into it. He stared into her eyes. _

"_Buffy?" He asked. Was this a dream? Could it be real that she was there looking at him, touching him?_

"_Wake up Sleepy-Head." It was Buffy. That was Buffy's voice speaking to him. It was her hand that was touching him. It was real._

_Giles sat up. "Why are you here?" He asked._

_Buffy pouted as if offended by his question. "Because you wanted me here. Didn't you miss me? Don't you want me?"_

_Now Giles took her face in his hands. His heart sank when she said that. How could he have ever allowed her to doubt that he wanted her? "Oh, God yes. Buffy…"_

_His voice trailed off as he gently guided her face toward his. He watched her eyes close and her lips part. Everything was moving in slow motion. _

_Their mouths were so close he could feel her breath when she spoke. "Giles." He could hear the longing in her voice, the need that he himself was so familiar with._

"_Giles…"_

"Giles?" He heard his name being called. It was faint and far away, but it was enough to disturb his sleep. He put his hands over his ears and tried to ignore whomever was outside his door at this ungodly hour. He closed his eyes. He needed to go back there. Back to where Buffy was. He had been so close to tasting her lips. He needed to get back.

There was a pounding on the door now. Whoever was outside was not leaving. Giles stood up. "I'm coming, I'm coming." He called, annoyed.

He put his glasses back on and walked to the door. He unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door without looking through the peephole first.

"Giles." She said.

"Dear God, Buffy." Giles' jaw dropped when he saw her there.

Buffy stood outside his door beaten and bruised. The whole left side of her face was black and blue and there was a gaping scratch across her forehead. She held her left elbow in her right hand, supporting her arm. Her chest heaved, and her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, evidence that she had been crying. Her hair was a mess, and blood trickled down past her ear from an unknown head wound.

"Can I come in?" She asked.

"Oh, yes of course." Giles answered as his trance was broken. He opened the door wider and stepped aside to allow her entrance. He noticed she was limping badly and placed an arm around her waist to support her and guide her to the couch. Walking with her in front of him, he saw through her torn shirt, four parallel scratches that ran across her shoulder blade and down her arm. He assisted her as she sat gingerly on the couch, careful not to further agitate any of her wounds. He retrieved a first aid kit from a closet in the hall and returned to her. He knelt in front of her.

"What in God's name happened?" He asked.

"Giles, I-I wasn't prepared. I-I felt too…too safe I guess. I was unarmed." She sobbed, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. Giles softly brushed her hair out of her face, and began to clean the wound on her forehead. "I just wanted to go for a jog. I wasn't going far. It was still early. It wasn't dark out yet. And everything has been so calm around here lately."

"What was it that attacked you?" With the dirt successfully removed from her face, and the wound there clean, he sat on the couch beside her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and gently positioned her so her back was to him, giving him access to the scratches on her shoulder blade. He gently cleaned her cuts as she continued.

"I don't know. Demon, I guess. Big claws, hence the scratches. It was quick. Had horns. I don't know what it was."

"And it's still out there?" Giles asked, his voice full of concern.

"Oh, um, nah." Buffy chuckled. "I killed it. Don't ask me how I did it. I thought I was dead. Adrenaline kicked in and then it was dead. It just kind of melted away into this big puddle of ooze. And now, here I am." She seemed to be regaining her composure.

"And thank God for that. Buffy, we need to get you to a hospital."

"No, I don't think anything is broken. I'll be ok in a day or two. You know I heal really fast. It just hurts now. I couldn't go home like this. Oh, God, Giles I'm so sorry!" She turned to face him and threw her good arm around his neck, embracing him. "I'm so sorry! I had nowhere else to go. I didn't know where to go." She sobbed into his neck, tears beginning to soak his t-shirt.

"Shhh," Giles comforted her, stroking her hair, and let her cry on his shoulder. "You are always welcome here. You know that."

"It's late, I should go. I'm sorry I came here." She forced herself to sit upright. "Thank you, Giles."

"Nonsense. Buffy, where will you go? You are hurt and unarmed. You will stay here tonight."

"I really can't impose like that."

"Then do it for _my_ peace of mind. I couldn't let you leave and not be up all night wondering if you are alright." Giles stood and extended his hand to her to help her off the couch. "You can have my bed. I'll sleep down here." He slipped his arm around her waist, as he had before, and led her toward his bedroom.

"Thank you, Giles." She didn't have the strength to object a second time. She held on to him with her good arm and went willingly to his bed.

Giles tucked her in, like a father would his young daughter. When satisfied that she was comfortable, he turned to leave the room. "Get some rest, Buffy. You will heal faster. If you need anything, I will be right downstairs."

"Stay with me?"

"Pardon?" Giles felt knots immediately form in the pit of his stomach. He hadn't heard her right. It couldn't be.

"Just till I fall asleep. Stay with me? Please."

"Of course." And Giles sat in the recliner next to the bed and watched her until her eyes fluttered and her breathing had become more regular and he knew she was asleep. And then he watched her some more.


	2. Stay

**Chapter Two - Stay**

Giles watched her, amazed that the most beautiful woman he had ever known slept there in his own bed and frustrated that he could not lie beside her and hold her, touch her, comfort her. Never had he ever imagined that, in reality, this woman would be in his bed. He had dreamt it a million times, but never thought it was an actual possibility. He looked at her, and even through the cuts and bruises, she was beautiful. And he knew, under different circumstances, this would be sheer torture. He knew it was wrong to think that way. Her chest rose and fell in even breaths, and she looked so peaceful. Giles would never let anything disturb her. He leaned back into the chair and got as comfortable as was possible. He couldn't bring himself to leave her alone. He would watch over her tonight.

_Buffy stood and walked to the chair where Giles sat watching her. She knelt in front of him, keeping her balance by placing one hand on each of his knees. He tensed at her touch. She looked straight into his eyes, never faltering. There was a depth to her eyes that Giles had not noticed before. When he looked into them, he could see her very soul. He saw her strength and bravery, her weakness, her insecurities, her fears. He could see her pain, and her happiness. But he saw that something was missing there. She was yearning for something. But what?_

"_Buffy, why did you come to me tonight?" He asked the question honestly, hoping that she would not take offense. _

"_I'm safe here." Buffy answered. Giles wasn't sure if it was supposed to be a statement or a question._

"_Yes, of course."_

"_You would never hurt me, Giles." Buffy pouted again. That look always got to Giles. It gave him butterflies in his stomach and made his knees weak._

"_Never, Buffy." He cupped her face in his hands and looked deep into her eyes. "I would die before I let anything happen to you."_

"_Giles, do you love me? Because, I really don't know."_

_Giles looked at his slayer dumbfounded. Had she really just asked him that? Of course he loved her. How could she doubt that?_

"_Giles? I need to know. Show me." She pleaded with him._

"_I…uh…"_

Giles rubbed his eyes trying to orient himself with his surroundings. He was aware that he was in his chair in his room. He was aware that his slayer was sleeping in his bed. But that sound. What was that sound? Once he was more alert, he recognized it instantly. Buffy was crying. Unable to tell if she was sleeping or not, he went to her.

He sat on the side of the bed looking down at her. She whimpered quietly. He gently stroked her cheek and placed his hand on her shoulder, in an attempt to comfort her while being careful not to wake her if she was still asleep.

Buffy turned sleepily to face him. "Giles." She said, barely above a whisper and took his hand in hers. "I'm scared."

"You were dreaming." He said, trying to soothe her back to sleep.

"Giles, I haven't slept longer than ten minutes. You've been sleeping in that chair, while I hog your bed. And I can't even sleep."

"Yes, well, I suppose I should go downstairs then. Give you some space. Maybe you will be more comfortable then." Giles, for the second time that night, said goodnight and got up to leave the bedroom.

"Giles?" Buffy did not release his hand. She was wounded, but still strong, and did not let him pull away. "Please stay."

"Very well." He said and turned back to his chair.

"Giles." Buffy paused until he turned back to look at her. She had pulled the covers back and looked at him expectantly. "Here. Stay here."

"Buffy, I-" He tried to protest, but his words stuck in his throat. His voice would not work, and he felt the power she had over him drawing him to her. He sat on the bed next to her. His heart was racing and his hands were shaking. How could this be? She pulled him back, in a way soothing his nerves and comforting him.

"Will you just hold me?" She asked as she moved closer to him.

"Yes, well, of course." Giles stammered uncomfortably, but he allowed her to curl up into his side. She fell asleep there, with her head on his chest.

"I do love you, Buffy. So very, very much." He whispered into her hair and placed a delicate kiss on the top of her head. He was certain that she was deep in her dreams. Giles didn't fall asleep again until the sun had already begun to rise. He just lied there, and watched his slayer get some much needed rest.


	3. Don't Die

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Chapter 3 - Don't Die

Buffy woke and immediately was aware that she was not alone in her own room. Though physically, she felt a million times better than she had the night before, emotionally, she was mortified. The events of the previous night replayed themselves in her head.

Buffy had come to him last night because he was the only one whom she trusted completely and felt totally safe with. It had seemed to be the only thing that made sense. Go to Giles. It was almost instinct. But this morning she felt like she had taken advantage of him, intruding on him so late at night and taking his bed.

His bed. How could she have been so stupid? Giles and Buffy had a very intimate relationship, but never had their sort of intimacy involved sharing a bed. She had cuddled up so close to him that she could hear his every heartbeat and feel every breath. And then, just to make things worse, just as she was about to fall asleep, she heard him tell her he loved her. She knew it was true. She loved him too. But last night, he kissed the top of her head and held her so close as he whispered those words to her.

_I'm such a fool. _Buffy thought as she slipped out of bed as silently as possible. She managed to avoid waking Giles. She slipped downstairs without a sound and went to the kitchen for a glass of water.

While Giles was still asleep, she contemplated her options. She could slip out the door right now and avoid the embarrassment of seeing him first thing in the morning. Later, they could pretend last night had never happened. Or she could wait for him to wake up, thank him for his hospitality, and pretend they had not shared a bed last night. Or she could confront the situation. She could be honest and tell him she had a crush on him and tell him that she knew it was silly and she was out of her mind last night. She would say she was sorry for wanting him close to her. She was sorry that she wanted to feel him, touch him, smell him, be close to him and know she was safe and loved. Then, she would promise it would never happen again. No. The last option was not a possibility. She would say something that she would regret, something that she would not be able to take back. She should just go.

As she took the last sip of water from her glass and placed it in the sink, she felt a presence behind her. Her heart began to beat faster, she took a deep breath, and turned around to face him.

"Good morning, Buffy." He said as he ran his hands through his rumpled hair. He was still wearing his pajamas, was without his glasses, and his hair was a mess. Buffy found it kind of refreshing to see him like that.

"Morning." Buffy said, looking at the ground. She was too afraid to make eye contact. "I was just about to go. I've intruded enough."

"Nonsense. How do you feel?"

"Better. Not a hundred percent yet, but better."

"Come here." Giles said holding his hand out to her. She complied and went to him. Giles gently brushed stray hair from her face and examined her cuts and bruises. She was still black and blue, but the cuts had closed and were small pink lines in her flesh now. "It looks so painful." He observed.

"It was. I'm better now, though. See?" She stretched her arm above her head, showing him that she could use it again. She hoped Giles couldn't tell she was faking the upbeat cheeriness in her voice.

"Buffy, I…" Giles hesitated, unable to find his words. He pulled her to him and took her in his arms. He hugged her tight and long, like he would never let go. "I was so scared." He choked out.

"Really, Giles, I'm ok." She let him hold her there. She was afraid to see the look that must be on his face. She felt his chest heave and heard him take a couple deep, shaky breaths. He was trying not to cry.

Giles pulled away from her and turned his back before she could see his face. He ran his hand through his hair and left the kitchen. Buffy followed him into the living room.

"Giles, I was scared too. And I'm sorry."

"No, Buffy don't say you're sorry. You defeated whatever was out there last night. You did your job well. You succeeded." Giles took a ragged breath and turned to face her. "But what if you hadn't?"

"I'm here. I'm ok. I was hurt but hey, it's happened before. No big." She shrugged and put on the biggest, most convincing smile she could manage, trying to reassure her Watcher, her friend.

"Buffy, when I opened that door and saw you there, I couldn't breathe. I could feel my heart being ripped out of my chest seeing you so hurt." He confessed, crossing the room to her, closing the distance that he had so hastily created. He needed to be close to her. "You have died before, and I won't have it happen again."

"I won't die. I didn't die last night."

"But you could have." Giles felt the burning behind his eyes that told him tears were welling there. He would not turn his back to her again. He refused to hide from her.

Buffy placed a hand on his arm and led him to the couch. This was so not the conversation she had planned on having first thing this morning. They both needed to sit down.

"I was scared too." She said, her voice soft and gentle, barely above a whisper. "I didn't want to be alone. But I never _really_ thought my life would end last night." She looked him straight in the eye, now afraid to break their eye contact.

"You know, the counsel trains us, its Watchers, prepares us for the death of our slayers. I will never be prepared to lose you." His voice was wavering. "They were right, Buffy, to let me go. I feel too deeply for you. And eventually, I will get you killed."

"Hey, listen to me." She grabbed him by the shoulders, forcing him to look at her, and spoke sternly to him. "Never, ever say something like that again. If it weren't for you, I'm sure I would be dead already. You're not going to get me killed, because I am not going to die."

Giles pulled her to him, taking her in another embrace. "I sincerely hope not. I love you too much, Buffy."

Buffy pulled away slowly. She looked him in the eye and smiled. She knew he loved her, after all that was why she had come here last night. But after what had happened, she was embarrassed. Those were the last words she wanted to hear pass his lips.

"I have to go." She said as she stood up. "I have this thing. I promised Willow I would…" She felt herself blushing. She suddenly felt very uncomfortable with him looking at her. She was trying for an easy way out, but found it impossible to lie to Giles. "I just have to go." She said before she turned and walked away. Giles could only watch her leave.

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**pollockmastriani**** : Thank you for your reviews. They are the only reason I have updated so soon. I am almost done with Chapter 4 and may be able to post that as well tonight. I hope you are still enjoying the story.  
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	4. This Can't Be

**Just a fair warning to all, this chapter is kind of dark...but necessary.**

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**Chapter 4 - This Can't Be**

Giles arrived at the Magic Box almost an hour late, only to be greeted by an angry glare from Anya.

"You know, you could have told me I would be here alone this morning. I know I should ask why you are late, but I don't care. I'm upset with you." She stated matter-of-factly. She stood in front of the counter with her hands on her hips, looking very much the part of a scorned human woman.

"Yes, well, I'm terribly sorry." Giles replied. "I had quite the rough morning. Have you seen Buffy today?" He never stopped to look at her or greet her properly. He walked right by her.

"No. But she did call. She said to tell you not to worry and she will check in after patrol."

"Very good. I have a lot of work to do. If you need me, I will be in the back." Giles said before disappearing into the training room at the back of the store.

"So I'll be working alone all day then." Anya said to no one. She was irritated. It wasn't like Giles to show up late to work then lock himself away. Then a thought crossed her mind and she smiled. This was the perfect opportunity to show him she could handle the Magic Box. She would not disturb him all day. She would make lots of money all on her own, then he would trust her with his store.

...

Giles closed the door behind himself once inside the training room. He was unable to go back to sleep after Buffy had left earlier in the morning. He was exhausted and his head hurt from thinking so hard. He couldn't escape the memory of how fulfilling it had been to hold Buffy and watch her sleep. Nor could he escape the extreme guilt he felt afterward. His muscles ached from the stress of it all.

Giles felt around in his jacket pocket and pulled out a small white pill. He had been taking the pills since his thoughts had begun to interfere with his sleep. It was just a sleep aid, but to him it was a small miracle. Confident that Anya could handle the store front on her own, he swallowed the pill. He hung his jacket up, loosened his tie, and lied down on the couch.

_It was fall. The leaves had changed and begun to cover the ground. The air was crisp and fresh. It was a beautiful day. _

_Giles looked around. He was in the cemetery. Where was Buffy? Surely she was waiting at one of the headstones for a vampire to come climbing out of the earth to meet his 're'death. But how had they become separated?_

_He wandered farther into the graveyard, where he came across a memorial service being held. As he walked closer, faces came into focus. Faces he recognized. Xander stood with his arm around Anya, who was weeping unabashedly. Willow and Tara were holding hands, leaning on each other, and wiping tears from their faces every couple seconds. Joyce and Dawn Summers we seated in the chairs in the row nearest an oak casket, which sat beside an open grave. The casket would be closed soon and lowered into the ground._

_Giles' heart pounded in his chest and he began to sweat as his picked up his pace and ran toward the coffin. 'This can't be. This can't be.' He told himself. 'Where the Hell is Buffy? God, this can't be!'_

_But it was. Giles approached the coffin and forgot how to breathe for a moment. He collapsed at the sight of her. He had to use the casket to support himself. She was too still. She didn't look peaceful like the deceased should. She just looked dead. Giles sobbed, letting out a howl that even he didn't recognize as his own._

_He brushed his fingers across her cheek. "Oh, Buffy." He said. He jerked his hand away when he swore he saw her move._

_He took a moment to look around again. Surely someone else saw it too. But everyone was gone. All of Buffy's friends and family who had been there just moments before. Gone. Giles turned back to face his slayer. It was just the two of them now._

_He looked at her, not knowing quite how to say goodbye. He stared at her until the sun set. It must have been hours. Then suddenly, without warning, Buffy bolted upright. With her eyes open wide, she turned to face Giles. He stepped back fearfully. And when she turned her head, he saw for the first time, blood dripping down her neck from two small holes there. How had he allowed this to happen?_

"_You never told me, Giles." Buffy, or Buffy's body rather, spoke to him. "You never showed me, and now look at me. Is this what you wanted? You could have saved me. I only wanted to know."_

"_How did this happen?" He asked Buffy's undead body. "What didn't I tell you?"_

"_Did you love me, Giles? I mean really love me?" It was a question he had heard her ask so many times before, but he had never been able to answer it. He was always too afraid. But he had never heard the question asked in the past tense. It chilled him to the bone. _

"_I loved you more than you could ever know. But, I don't understand. How would things be different if I had told you that?" Giles was no longer afraid of the thing that was speaking to him. For a moment he forgot that it wasn't really Buffy._

"_You could have told me, Giles. If you had told me, I would have stayed with you. I never would have gone out on patrol that night. I would have stayed and I would be alive now. You did this to me." And in an instant, Buffy was out of the coffin and tackling Giles. He was thrown backward. She was on top of him, in full vamp-face, ready to drain him. Paralyzed by his guilt, not fear, he did not try to stop her. _

_..._

"Hello, welcome to the Magi-" Anya began to greet a customer who walked through the door. "Oh, it's you." She said when she noticed it was just Buffy.

"Good to see you too, Anya." Buffy said.

"I thought you were here to give me your money."

"Sorry. I left some weapons here. I'll be out of your hair in a minute." Buffy said smiling. She was always amused by Anya's enthusiasm to make a buck at the Magic Box.

She walked to the back of the store where the training room was and opened the door. She was overwhelmed by panic when she saw her Watcher lying on the floor. She ran to him and knelt at his side.

"Giles!" She yelled his name while shaking his shoulders. He opened his eyes and she was relieved to realize that he had been sleeping, nothing worse. He must have fallen off the couch.

"Just do it, Buffy. I'm not going to fight you. I failed you." He said, looking up at her through tear filled eyes.

"Do what Giles?" She asked, confused.

"Do it. I don't want to go on like this. I can't-" He paused, noticing that the Buffy that he saw now, did not look dead, or undead. "You're not real." He jerked away from her and crawled backward until his back was against the couch and he was very nearly in the fetal position.

"Giles! Look at me." She demanded. "You were having a bad dream."

"You're not real." He was shaking his head, and was speaking mostly to himself. "You're not here. You're dead."

"Hey, I'm here. Everything is ok." She reached out for his hand. He pulled away for a second, but once she touched him, he seemed to come back to reality.

"You're real? Buffy? My God, what have I done?" He said. He reached out for her, and she let him touch her. He touched her arm, her hair, her face, and he began to cry. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she cradled his head against her chest. She let him weep.

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	5. Real

**Hi everyone. Thank you for your reviews. Sorry it took a while to post this chapter. I hope you enjoy it and you find it worth the wait. More to come soon...I promise. Please review.

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**Chapter 5 - Real**

"Come on, I'm taking you home." She said as she struggled to help him to his feet. "Get up."

"No, I-I, y-you can't go." Giles said. "You mustn't patrol tonight."

"Giles, I can't do _anything _until I get you home. And you are not helping. Now, stand up." Buffy ordered.

Giles was still disoriented and unsure of everything around him, himself and Buffy included. His dream had felt so real and he almost couldn't believe that Buffy was alive and well and there with him. He realized in one horrific moment that he couldn't trust himself or his own perceptions any longer. So he stood. He put all of his trust in the only thing that made sense…Buffy. He shook his head with complete disbelief and a hint of shame and embarrassment. "Something is terribly wrong here." He mumbled.

"I know. You're not well, but we will figure it out. We just have to get you home first." Buffy led him through the store, stopping only for a moment to tell Anya to call Xander or Willow if she needed any help, and took him home.

Buffy parked Giles' car in front of his apartment minutes after leaving the Magic Box. They had ridden the whole way in silence. With Buffy behind the wheel, luckily their drive had been uneventful.

Buffy unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car. Giles didn't follow. Irritated that he was stalling, Buffy walked around to the passenger side of the car and opened his door.

"Get ou-" She stopped herself from completing the demand and smiled. Giles was asleep. Something really was wrong with him, and she needed to figure out what, but she liked the way he looked when he slept. So she watched him for a second. Based on the way he had reacted when she woke him in the training room, she opted for a gentle, calm, non-scary way of rousing him from his sleep this time.

She knelt beside the car so she was at his level. She reached out to him and touched his face. She cupped his cheek in her hand before she had the chance to tell herself it was wrong. Instantly, she felt as if she were taking advantage of him while he was sleeping. The gesture was much more intimate than she thought he would have appreciated. She was about to pull her hand away when he raised his hand to hers, covering it, holding it there. He turned his face into her palm and nuzzled it there, and she swore she saw the faintest hint of a smile cross his lips. At that moment, she was very aware of herself, and very happy that his eyes remained closed. Had he looked at her, the expression on her face would have given everything away. Every secret. Every feeling. Every desire and need she felt for the man before her. Everything that she wanted him to see but thought he was better off never seeing.

"Wake up Sleepy-Head." She said. Giles recognized her words before she had finished speaking them. He remembered the way if felt to have her hand against his cheek. He had had this dream before. His smile widened and he opened his eyes. She still looked like a goddess to him.

"Why are you here?" He asked like he had in so many dreams before.

"Because you need me." Her answer was different than it was in the past, but Giles didn't question it. He just nodded.

"I do." He agreed. "I do need you."

"Come on. We have to get you inside. Get up." Buffy took his hand and helped him from the car.

Giles did as he was told. He stood willingly and followed close behind her. Something was not right, but Giles would never question her. He would follow her into the depths of Hell without hesitation. They approached the apartment and he waited patiently while she fumbled with the keys until she found the right one and unlocked the front door.

"Go sit down. You need to rest. I'll make you some tea." She said to him.

Giles grabbed her arm, stopping her as she turned to go to the kitchen. "Wait." He said. She turned back to face him. Giles hesitated before continuing, but he looked intently into her eyes. He didn't let go of her arm. This time he would be strong. He would tell her exactly how he felt before he woke up. "Buffy, do you trust me?"

"Of course I do. Where did that come from?"

"Then you must never doubt me. Never doubt how I feel for you."

"Are you ok? Giles, you really need to sit down." Buffy saw a bead of sweat roll down his forehead and she touched his face with the back of her hand. "You aren't well. You are burning up." He took both of her hands in his and held them against his chest. She could feel the heat radiating from his body and she could feel his heart racing.

"That's because I am terrified of what I have to tell you." He took a deep breath and continued. "Don't ever doubt that I love you. Or that I want you. I want you all the time. I do need you, Buffy. More than you could ever know."

"Giles, I-"

"No, Buffy, don't say anything. I'll only feel like a fool. I love you, and if anything happened to you, I would die. Promise me you won't patrol tonight."

"I promise." She said. She tried to ignore the feeling she had deep in the pit of her stomach. His words tied knots in her belly and she found herself focusing on his lips. Their bodies were so close, she wouldn't have to move but a couple inches to taste them. But she had to remind herself that Giles was ill. For all she knew he was delirious and didn't know what he was saying.

"Buffy, I love you. Stay with me. Don't leave me. I need you here."

"I'm not going anywhere." She said, and he was comforted. "I'll stay, but you need to rest. Get some sleep. Maybe you will feel better in the morning."

"Get some sleep?"

"Yeah, you know? Goodnight? Sweet dreams?" She said lightheartedly.

"Wait. I'm awake?" He tried to wrap his head around the concept that this was not one of his dreams.

"Yeah. Giles, are you ok?"

"No. No I'm really not." He answered. He removed his glasses, cleaning them as if it were a reflex. He moved to the couch and sat down. He rubbed his eyes. "Buffy, I'm quite-quite afraid." He looked up at her. "I can't tell."

"What can't you tell?" She asked sitting beside him and placing her hand on his shoulder.

"I can't tell that I'm awake."


End file.
